TL;DR
- A reader fears hell for being gay.
- Alex Cheves offers supportive advice.
- Explores love, faith, and self-acceptance.
- Challenges traditional interpretations of scripture.
- Encourages finding joy in gay love.
In a world where love is often tangled with fear, one reader has bravely reached out to ask a question that many LGBTQ folks wrestle with: “I want a man to love me, but I’m terrified of going to hell for it.” This poignant dilemma is a heart-wrenching reminder of the struggles faced by those who grapple with their identities in the shadow of religious dogma. But fear not, dear reader, because columnist Alexander Cheves is here to shed some light on this dark path.
First off, let’s address the elephant in the room: the notion that being gay is an abomination and that God doesn’t love practicing gays. This is a narrative that has been perpetuated by certain interpretations of scripture, but it’s not the only story out there. Cheves reminds us that many Christians around the globe read the Bible differently, embracing a more inclusive view of love. There are gay priests and theologians who have dedicated their lives to understanding faith through a lens of love and acceptance, proving that the divine doesn’t discriminate based on whom you choose to love.

Cheves, who has walked a similar path, understands the fear and shame that can come from growing up in a world that tells you your love is wrong. He shares his own journey from a place of fear to one of self-acceptance and love. “You are allowed to question the voice in your head that tells you this is settled,” he writes, encouraging readers to challenge the narratives they’ve been taught. After all, questioning is what has led to some of the most significant shifts in religious thought throughout history.
But let’s not sugarcoat it: coming out is hard. It’s a journey filled with uncertainty and fear of rejection. Cheves emphasizes that you don’t have to rush into it. Take your time. The world can be a daunting place, especially when you’re trying to reconcile your identity with societal and familial expectations. But remember, there’s a community out there waiting for you — one that understands the beauty of love in all its forms.
And let’s talk about love itself. The reader expresses concern that gay relationships are merely fleeting and meaningless. Cheves passionately counters this notion, reminding us that all love, whether straight or gay, is temporary. “If gay love is meaningless because one of you will eventually die, then all love is meaningless,” he states. Love is not defined by its duration but by the depth of connection and joy it brings to our lives. It’s about the moments of tenderness, the shared laughter, and the support we give each other through life’s challenges.
Ultimately, Cheves drives home a powerful message: loving yourself is the greatest act of rebellion against a world that tries to diminish your worth. It’s about embracing who you are and recognizing that you deserve love — not just from others, but from yourself. “Self-love is the match. Coming out was the hardest thing I’ve done,” he shares, encouraging readers to find the courage to live authentically.
So, to the reader feeling lost and alone, know that you are not alone. There’s a world of love waiting for you, and it’s worth every bit of the struggle to find it. Embrace your truth, question the narratives that bind you, and remember that love, in all its forms, is a divine gift. You deserve it — and so do we all.