In the post-vaccine era of the pandemic, getting new tattoos became a long-awaited activity for many, including the author. In 2021, they added a meaningful phrase to their collection: “…I’m still working on maintaining the will to stay alive for myself,” permanently etched on their forearm. However, in their home state of Maine, 2021 marked a grim record – the highest rate of transgender individuals dying by suicide. This tragic statistic reflects a nationwide trend where the trans community faces disproportionately high rates of suicide, often blamed on the individuals themselves rather than the oppressive systems at play.
The exhaustion of repeatedly highlighting the connection between these statistics and systemic discrimination weighs heavy. Sharing personal experiences of suicidality intertwined with queerness and transness can be emotionally draining. Yet, amidst this fatigue, tattoos serve as powerful visual reminders of reclamation and the resilience of the queer and trans body. For the author, tattoos are a declaration of life in their Black trans body, a defiant statement that says, “I’m here to stay.”
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These tattoos also make the author’s internal healing journey visible. While they acknowledge that their choice to get inked in affirmation of their gender and sexuality is far from unique, they celebrate this fact. Body modification, an age-old practice, challenges conventional notions of “professionalism” and what’s considered “appropriate” or “pure.” Tattoos also serve as symbols of resistance, with some designs, like the pink triangle, being reclaimed from their painful histories to express pride.
Throughout history, tattoos have been used to speak out against discrimination and oppression. During the AIDS crisis, “SILENCE = DEATH” tattoos boldly confronted medical homophobia and transphobia faced by those with HIV/AIDS. Even in the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, tattoos have provided a sense of autonomy, allowing individuals to adorn their bodies with decorative scars that affirm their existence.
While some may view tattooing as a form of self-injury, the author encourages a nuanced perspective on pain. Just as society deconstructs binary norms in various aspects of life, tattoos challenge simplistic notions of suffering. They also emphasize the intimacy that tattoos bring, a reflection of the safety and bravery found within the LGBTQ+ community.
Even tattoos that individuals may later regret or those obtained “just because” hold significance as pieces of personal identity visible to others. In a world where conformity can be a matter of survival for queer and trans individuals, tattoos serve as permanent marks of resistance, reminding us that we don’t have to conform to fit in; we can proudly stand out and break the mold.
