Bottoming isn’t just a position—it’s a lifestyle, a commitment, and sometimes a full-body workout. If you’ve ever braced yourself for the infamous pain-to-pleasure transition or contemplated the risks of spicy food before a date, you already know. Here’s a rundown of what only bottoms truly understand.
The Never-Ending Search for Tops
It’s a jungle out there. Just when you think you’ve found a bonafide top, surprise—he’s also a bottom. The struggle to find an elusive, available, and actually committed top is real. It’s practically an Olympic sport at this point.
Cleanliness is Next to Godliness (or a Mood Killer)
Ask any bottom about their pre-game routine, and you’ll get a dissertation on douching, fiber intake, and the soul-crushing realization that, despite your best efforts, your body might betray you at the worst possible moment. The internal debate over whether to eat that burrito before a hookup? A decision more complex than chess.
The Prostate: A Gift from the Gay Gods
Describing the magic of prostate stimulation to a straight man is like trying to explain color to someone who’s only ever seen in black and white. It’s an experience so divine it almost makes up for the sheer effort required to get there.
That Signature Bottom Strut
You know the walk. After a particularly thorough session, suddenly, every step is a little… off. Your friends can spot it from a mile away. Strutting into brunch with that “freshly wrecked” energy? Iconic.
The Pornstar Mindset Mid-Ride
One second, you’re just a mild-mannered, respectable professional; the next, you’ve transformed into a full-on adult film star, channeling all your inner choreography to give your top the ride of his life. It’s an art form.
The Afterglow That Hits Different
That post-coital rush of dopamine and oxytocin? Next level. Suddenly, everything in life makes sense, and for a brief moment, world peace seems achievable. Bottoming isn’t just an act—it’s a spiritual journey.
Bottom line? It’s a wild, painful, euphoric, and sometimes messy experience—but we wouldn’t trade it for the world.