Jennifer Knox, the granddaughter of the late US Senator Jesse Helms, has recently opened up about her long and challenging journey to self-acceptance as a queer individual. Senator Helms, who served North Carolina from 1973 to 2003, was renowned for his staunch anti-LGBTQ+ stances, even by the standards of his time.
In the 1980s and 90s, Senator Helms engaged in vitriolic rhetoric against LGBTQ+ people, actively campaigned against gay rights, and shockingly voted against federal funding for AIDS research during the height of the HIV and AIDS epidemic. Little did he know that his own family included LGBTQ+ members, and tragically, his own beliefs prevented his granddaughter from feeling safe enough to come out.
Jennifer Knox, reflecting on her experience, shared, “There really are, for me anyway, two Jesses – the granddad and the senator. The granddad is the bigger influence on my life.” Her journey of self-discovery and coming to terms with her sexuality began in college during the 90s. However, despite coming out to her parents in 2002 and marrying her now ex-wife in 2007, Knox never felt able to come out to her grandfather before his passing.
Senator Helms had publicly labeled homosexuality as a “filthy, disgusting practice” and LGBTQ+ individuals as “weak” and “morally sick.” Yet, he remained oblivious to his granddaughter’s sexual orientation. Knox’s decision to keep her identity concealed was influenced by her family’s reaction when she initially came out, which led to her seeking therapy.
Knox’s path to self-discovery was further complicated when, during her tenure as a district court judge in Wake County, North Carolina, rumors about her sexuality began circulating. A website known for outing closeted politicians exposed her relationship with her female partner. Despite these challenges, Knox chose not to address the rumors, and she was elected to office.
Reflecting on her relationship with her anti-LGBTQ+ grandfather, Knox expressed, “I’m not the kind of person to confront him about his views. We really didn’t talk about politics as a family. It was almost like it was two separate lives between his political life and his family life.” She no longer identifies as a Republican, having shifted her political affiliation to unaffiliated.
Knox’s story serves as a powerful testament to the fallacy of queerness being a choice. She remarked, “Of all the people in the world – Jesse Helms’ granddaughter – you think I chose this?” His comments, she noted, were “confusing and painful” and kept her in the closet for years. As for how Senator Helms would have reacted to her coming out, Knox remains uncertain, acknowledging that her strong bond with her grandfather was too precious to risk losing.
Jennifer Knox’s story is a reminder that the journey of self-acceptance and the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals can be deeply affected by the beliefs and attitudes of those around them. Her struggle highlights the importance of fostering understanding and acceptance within families, even in the face of deeply ingrained prejudices.