Sophie B. Hawkins, the out singer-songwriter known for her 1992 hit “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover”, recently shared that she is glad people see the song as a lesbian or generally LGBTQ+ anthem, but that it is more than that. In a recent interview with The Guardian, she explained that the third verse of the song, “Free your mind and you won’t feel ashamed”, is probably why people have called it a lesbian or LGBTQ+ anthem. She describes herself as omnisexual and believes the song speaks to human issues that are still relevant 35 years later as society continues to evolve.
While the song has become an iconic LGBTQ+ anthem, Eric Bazilian, who played guitar on the track, notes that they never discussed the LGBTQ+ aspect during the creation of the song. He believes that the song isn’t really gender or orientation specific and could have been taken as a great heterosexual anthem in the past. However, he is glad that society has become more open to discussing these things.
Hawkins recalled that some radio stations in the South objected to the use of the word “damn” in the song, but her record company, Sony, didn’t back away from it. Her mother even liked the word because “it reminded her of William Blake.” The video for “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover” also caused controversy, as Hawkins was told it was “too erotic”. She found it dreamlike and sensual, like the music, but they had to make another video. Years later, Hawkins discovered that the real reason for the controversy was that she was dancing with a black dancer, which she says is something she would have done more of had she known the reason at the time.
After over a decade without releasing an album, Hawkins recently released Free Myself. Despite the song’s fame as an LGBTQ+ anthem, the themes of liberation and acceptance in “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover” are universal and continue to resonate with audiences today.