In an era where surrogacy has become an increasingly popular option for couples seeking to expand their families biologically, the exorbitant cost of this path to parenthood has led some prospective same-sex parents to turn to crowdfunding. For couples like Kyle and Jack Maurelli, residing in New York state, the dream of having a child through surrogacy seemed unattainable after their insurance company denied them the necessary infertility coverage. Surrogacy, a process that can reach a staggering $250,000 in expenses, according to Family Equality, has created financial hurdles that many LGBTQ+ couples struggle to surmount.
The Maurellis, a gay couple who married in 2019, launched a GoFundMe campaign in July to overcome these daunting financial challenges. On their crowdfunding page, they shared their struggles, stating, “We successfully created embryos, however, our path to parenthood has been fraught with financial challenges due to the exorbitant expenses associated with fertility treatments like surrogacy and in vitro fertilization (IVF).” The couple’s combined expenses have already reached approximately $180,000 and continue to climb.
Their insurance provider, Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield, claimed to “cover fertility services as mandated by New York state law.” However, New York’s infertility definition, which hinges on the incapacity to conceive after a set period of unprotected sexual intercourse, does not apply to male same-sex couples. Jack Maurelli voiced his dissatisfaction with these definitions, stating, “It just doesn’t feel fair; it feels discriminatory.” He emphasized the need to challenge the stigma surrounding same-sex parenting, expressing, “I feel like there’s a stigma that two men can’t raise a child together or that men are incapable of raising children on their own, and it’s something we want to stop.”
Kyle Maurelli highlighted the disparity between their situation and that of heterosexual couples, noting, “If I were in a heterosexual marriage, my spouse and I could get up to $100,000 worth of fertility treatments through my health insurer.” Their interactions with Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield have included dismissive comments such as, “You’re not infertile, and your husband’s not infertile, so the two of you can naturally reproduce with females that are fertile.”
The Maurellis, who have already expended approximately $65,000 on fertility costs, anticipate that surrogacy will impose an additional burden of $180,000. To cover these staggering expenses, they have resorted to taking loans against their home and acquiring second jobs. So far, they have managed to raise about $5,000 of their $50,000 fundraising goal on GoFundMe. While New York is one of the states that lack comprehensive infertility coverage, there are currently 20 states besides New York, along with Washington, D.C., that have laws mandating coverage for infertility, and at least 15 of these laws extend to in vitro fertilization.
The Maurellis’ journey highlights the financial challenges faced by LGBTQ+ couples as they pursue their dreams of parenthood, shedding light on the pressing need for broader access to infertility coverage and support for all couples, regardless of their sexual orientation.